Dear son,

Recently one of my friends had forwarded me a link where somebody had written about how his mother never filled him with the guilt of  ‘you owe me so much’ /’I struggled to bring you up and this is how you chose to repay me?!’ and needless to say I was blown over.

This got me thinking about the equation between me and you (if there is one and the LHS and RHS need to be balanced out just like in a real equation..)!

Lets see now…I carried you for nine long months, gave birth the natural, grueling way, was your source of food for a time, have wiped your nose, washed your butt and the regular stuff that moms do. Now the other side of the equation boy-of-mine. Let’s check what  it is that you bring to the table.

-You made me a mother. This automatically made me less selfish, more loving,patient,forgiving – a better person. (the equation already seems to be getting heavier on your side).

- I have never felt lonely since the day I knew you were in my womb. It was as if I had a lamp lit inside, a delicious secret, a warmth never known before.

- I was your world for a long time and it felt amazing to be so important to another human being!

- There have been days when the only reason I have smiled is you.

- I learnt to see the world and the wonders it holds through your eyes. Whenever I am with you, I see the magic in a soap bubble soaring high, as we watch its ascent and the ‘ping’ as it bursts which brings out the giggles in you (Oh, by the way, your giggle makes me so happy for some reason.)

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- I love that you need me and only me to scratch your bony back while you go to sleep and to tickle you a bit while I do it..bliss!

Its tough sometimes to deal with your tantrums. It’s a learning for both of us…we are still new to this son and mom thingy you see ;).

- The fact that you get me flowers, the ones fallen on the road, the ones from ajji’s house, the ones that Tata gets as a felicitation  makes me the happiest. It makes me proud and happy and a mixture of all things good, that you get me flowers because you know I like them!!

I love cooking with you, especially making jamoons, as you mix the batter for me (and I know you eat the batter sticking to your fingers..).

I have a better body thanks to you…seriously..you changed a couch potato into an active mom, making me climb trees, play hide n seek, chase you around the house. I am much fitter than I ever was!

You have given me so much that I can never say that you owe me. You were the best gift I was ever given.

The best I could ever do for you, is give you the strong roots of love and the wings of imagination and freedom to take off on any flight  that you chose. I am working towards it my love.

Happy birthday darling. Today is the birthday of a mother and son, a celebration of four years of motherhood and all its joys and challenges. Have a wonderful day and a happy life ahead.

Loads of love,

Amma.

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