A few days ago my son was looking at pictures of trains – one was pink and one was blue (I do think both are bad colours for trains personally, but thats not the point.). My son immediately said that he wanted the blue train because blue is for boys and pink is for girls. My first reaction was…surprisingly anger!! I have tried to the best of my capability to avoid gender stereotyping but how and when did this bias get into his head??

I have frowned at people trying to tell my son that he was fair and make it seem as if he was better than others. I am dusky and my husband is fair. I revel in my skin colour and have never felt the need to bleach/use fairness creams.

 (Also have you ever observed the subtle colour bias in our cartoons – take ‘chota bheem’ for example. Kalia the usual villain is dark and even his name implies that. Or have you noticed that Chutki is fairer than everyone else with pink rouge on the cheeks? Dont you think kids will definitely pick up on these..)

So this pink and blue thingy got my goat!

It seems like I have been trying to fight being fit into a mould for a long time now. (For sometime I was a rebel without a cause, but there are so many things about me that dont fit into any mould.)

I am an aethist for starters. it took me some time to admit that to myself.

 I hate decking up most of the times.I am not comfortable in sarees. I love my jeans and even can sleep with them on.

It irritates me to shape my nails and paint them weird colours. But then I like to wax and keep my eyebrows in shape. I hate makeup but I love some kajal now and then. I love flouncy skirts and feminine tops. I also like the cowboy checked shirts.

I like my hair short, but am trying to grow it long because of the frizz.

What mould would you fit me into?

I hate cutting veggeis but like cooking some times. I like making and drinking tea but not coffee. I love flowers. I like fixing things and working with screw drivers. I love shopping sometimes but tend to lose patience very quickly.

I love fiction, fantasy and the classics. I dont ever go in for the self help books.

I like being financially and otherwise independent but sometimes want my husband to pamper me.

Which mould would you fit me in??

Is it not OK that I can like some things that are considered feminine and some that are masculine?

But whoever defines these moulds??How do they define what is feminine and what is masculine?

Even when a baby is born , the first question asked is whether its a boy or a girl? How do you know what it is? We just know the sex of the baby.

We could just say “congratulations..you have had a baby!”, couldn’t we?

Just because I am a female and a parent why am I expected to carry out a certain set of duties? I like playing ball with my son persay more than feeding him or giving him a bath or brushing his teeth. (maybe I dont like all the cleaning activites ‘cos my son throws a tantrum every single time and I am not such a clean freak either :P)

Which mould do I fit into?

And more importantly WHY should I fit into any mould?

Why cant I sometimes just be a person? I dont wake up everyday thinking I am a female. I am just ME- with my thoughts, feelings and confusions galore.

So what do you think? Would you  mind terribly if your son ever played with dolls or liked pink or loved puttering around in the kitchen?  or your girl was the quintessential tomboy?

Don’t you think each of us should be treated as a unique person, accepted, respected and valued for what we are?

Do you also sometimes wish that you fit into the mould? (I do – it would make it easier for me and the people around me – but then it wouldn’t be me anymore and I would be miserable 😦 )

Perhaps we are like snowflakes –  similar maybe, but no two are alike 🙂 – each one a unique person!

 What do you think?