The internal dialogue:

“It does not matter what you said or did, he never has a right to hit you or push you or slap you or punch you or verbally abuse you . And don’t try to justify him hitting you.”

‘Well, if I wouldn’t have said this, or did that, then he wouldn’t have gotten mad enough to hit me’ or ‘It won’t happen again, he is just stressed out.’

“NO. It will happen again, and it will get worse.”

The others say:

Why don’t you leave or why did you stay for so long?  -A well-intentioned question but often a very simple approach to a very complex and layered issue.

It is not so simple to ‘just leave’!

Abusive relationships don’t start out with a black-eye. They too start out with passion and promise. She is thinking that the real him is the one at the beginning of the abusive cycle, the real him is the one who is so profusely apologising afterwards .

“Only someone who’s walked in their shoes can fully understand the complexity.”

To judge someone, to say “why doesn’t she just leave” is inappropriate.

It is about education and it is about awareness. October is the domestic violence awareness month and today is Deepawali- the festival of lights.

May this month and day bring awareness and light into each one of your lives.

Love and peace,

PP

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